With the British attacking, Marie (Barbara Windsor) is willing to sacrifice herself for her beloved France. She swaps clothes with the gallant Sir Gastron (Brian Osborne). A pair of British sailors turn up and are pretty interested in the ‘lady’ – even though she has a beard!
Still disguised as Sir Gaston, Marie is captured by Sir Simon de Montfort (David Lodge) and transported to the castle of Baron Hubert (Sid James) and Lady Isobel (Joan Sims). The baron, who’s also the work-shy warden of the Tower of Cleethorpes, has allowed the castle to fall into disrepair, despite Isobel’s constant nagging.
Hubert isn’t impressed when he awakes to find his morning milk has turned to water, much to the chagrin of the serf Ethelbert (John Carlin). The wheezing Sir William (Kenneth Connor) is always clad in armour, and the physician Friar Roger (Peter Butterworth) is obsessed with Alchemy and the local girls. Neither William nor Roger is impressed when their rooms are inspected as possible accommodation for Sir Gaston. Despite the castle’s terrible condition, Sir Simon is bribed into giving a positive report – even though he falls through a hole in Sir William’s floor and breaks a leg!
Marie, meanwhile, is complaining of a cold, so she takes one of Friar Roger’s potions. It’s his changing potion, and a liquid that makes the knight come over all queer, blowing her disguise by revealing all to a stunned Sir Simon.
- Sid James - Baron Hubert
- Barbara Windsor - Marie
- Joan Sims - Lady Isobel
- Kenneth Connor - Sir William
- Peter Butterworth - Friar Roger
- David Lodge - Sir Simon de Montfort
- Brian Osborne - Gaston
- Diane Langton - Griselda
- John Carlin - Ethelbert
- Linda Hooks - Rosie
- Anthony Trent - Herald
- John Levene - Soldier (uncredited)
Shots from Laureance Olivier’s film of Henry V were used, as the budget wouldn’t stretch to hundreds of armour clad extras.