Short sighted solider Ethelred journeys to a monastery to pick up the weapon from humble monk and inventor Athelstan. The weapon is in a heavy chest, and Ethelred is keen for the monk to accompany it on it’s journey to the King, but Athelstan is preoccupied with the explosive ‘bird powder’ he’s developing, and reckons the abbot won‘t let him leave the monastery. He overestimates his importance, as the abbot is only too glad to get rid of him!
On their journey, Elthlred and Athelstan, accompanied by two hulking soldiers, are tracked by William the Conqueror’s ‘you know who’ agent, The Black Cowl. The spy takes aim at Harold’s men, but misses and instead lands an arrow through a rabbit’s throat. Ethelred thinks Athelstan has shot the bunny and prepares to eat it, but the monk ponders on the arrow’s origins. It is marked Made in Normandy, as is the Black Cowl’s scarf, which lands at their feet after the owner has been accidently blown up by Athelstan’s bird powder.
William has another secret weapon, his ‘you know who else’ – a sexy spy called Else, who is sent after the British weapon carriers. She finds them in a tavern, where Ethelred is busy with saucy wench Isolde. Else tries to work her magic on Athelstan, but the canny monk sees right through her. He pretends to glug the drugged drink she gives him, and then sends her off with some bird powder, only to explode en route to France!
While Ethelred is gearing up for a night of passion with Isolde, he drinks the drugged drink and collapses! Still, the weapon is finally delivered to the king as he looks on from the sidelines of the battle with Egbert. The king thinks they should move the action out to the wings, but Egbert is convinced they’re pushing forward too much.
- William the Conqueror - David Lodge
- King Harold - Norman Chappell
- Ethelred - Jack Douglas
- Athelstan - Kenneth Connor
- 1st soldier - Billy Cornelius
- 2nd soldier - Nosher Powell
- The Black Cowl - Jerod Wells
- Else - Joan Sims
- Isolde - Diane Langton
- Egbert - John Carlin